I haven’t posted anything really personal in a while, so while I’m wired on Adderall and procrastinating studying for my last final, I’ve decided to write to you all a little.
As the semester is coming to a close, I’m finding myself happier than I’ve been in years despite the personal/emotional turmoil I’ve experienced throughout the past few months. I am now with someone who has changed my life in unimaginable ways and consider myself extremely blessed. I’ve found it really hard to let myself trust someone after what I’ve experienced with boys in the past, but I’m getting there. When I expressed my concern about this, he said, “Not every boy you meet is going to be the right one, and you didn’t meet me until now.” I really believe him. I’m starting to feel confident that I can be happy and everything can be okay sometimes. I hope that one day everyone can experience whatever I’m feeling right now, at least for a little while.
Through everything that’s happened this semester, I’ve learned a few (possibly very cheesy) things:
1) Sometimes you need to find yourself at your lowest point in order to let yourself grow to be the happiest you can be.
2) People can walk into your life and change everything in a second, for better or worse.
3) You really have no idea what a person may be dealing with in their life, so don’t judge them- even if you don’t agree with their feelings or understand what they’re going through.
4) DO NOT waste your time on someone who wouldn’t drop everything in a second for you, and most of all, for someone who doesn’t RESPECT you. You are all amazing people, and you deserve to be with someone who treats you that way.
5) Let yourself be happy, and stop stressing. The fact that things pass us by when we aren’t looking for them is ridiculous. We miss some of the best things when we’re not paying attention.
I still have no idea what I want to do with my future or where my life is taking me, but I don’t expect to know that right now. I have an amazing family, amazing friends, and an amazing boy who have been with me through some of my hardest times- I truly could not ask for anything else. I’m overwhelmed by how genuinely happy I am (it brings tears to my eyes) and hope with everything I have that some of you find it in yourselves to be this happy, too.
And lastly, I know I’m a snail when it comes to answering your messages- but please know that I read everything and am ALWAYS here for anyone who needs to talk. I will continue to be very understanding and relatable to anything you might come to me with, so please never hesitate.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this- I really appreciate you all so much :)